Recently
one of my opposite numbers, a columnist up in Vancouver, B.C.,
announced that he couldn’t take America anymore. He broke up with us.
“Goodbye, America,” wrote longtime Sun columnist Pete McMartin.
“Goodbye Bellingham, Seattle and Portland — how I’ll miss my Cascadian cousins with our shared Pacific sensibilities.”
“What was once so close has never been so far.”
McMartin,
channeling the bitter mood of betrayal in Canada right now, said the
heedless U.S. president is forcing all Canadians to make a choice —
between being “vassals or enemies.”
“I’m choosing the latter,” he announced.
“So,
goodbye America, it’s been nice knowing you, but I don’t know you
anymore. I’ve reached that point in our relationship where any
admiration I have had for you has been replaced by a new, angry resolve,
which is: I won’t consort with the enemy.”
Ouch. The enemy? What can I say to that in return?
The
awkward reality is I don’t know what to say to Canadians at this
juncture in our shared history. On the Peace Arch at Blaine between our
two countries, the inscription reads “Children of a Common Mother.” This
feels then like the world’s biggest family breakup — with us as the
cause.
Would it help, Canadians, if an American said he was embarrassed for America right now?
Would
it count for anything if I pointed out that we were as blindsided as
you by Donald Trump’s suggestion of annexing your country, and making it
the 51st state? That he didn’t bring up his weird Canada animus until after he’d won the election?
No,
that probably won’t help. The bitter truth is we knew Trump was
impetuous. We knew he loves to bully his allies more than his enemies —
witness how he relishes humiliating, say, GOP senators. And we knew he
would act out the Ugly American shtick on the world stage. We elected
him anyway.
Still,
picking on … Canada? I think I speak for more than a few Americans when
I say that the only people more baffled by this sudden choice of
enemies than you, Canadians, was us.
So for what it’s worth, Canada, let me say that I admire how you’re rallying to our threat.
I loved how you mocked the idea of Trump requesting Canadian troops on the border by instead posting hockey sticks in the snow with googly eyes on them.
I love how everybody’s wearing “Canada is not for sale” hats.
I smiled at how a British Columbia coffee house has started a movement to change the name of the espresso drink “Americano” to “Canadiano.” Quiet acts of resolve matter, even silly ones.
I also like that there’s now a weekly protest
outside the U.S. Consulate in Vancouver, with signs like “Stop Him,
Americans” and “Toque off, Trump.” And I endorse how your sports fans
are lustily booing our national anthem. Atypical for you supposedly polite Canadians — but exactly what the times demand.
All this makes me envious, Canada. You’re behaving as we ought to be.
That
we’re not protesting or booing right along with you blameless Canadians
was the most wounding part of Mr. McMartin’s breakup note.
“Goodbye to my American friends,” he wrote.
“Your
silence and the silence of all Americans in response to this aggression
leaves me disheartened. That silence speaks volumes. I — we — have
heard you loud and clear how little our friendship as a country means to
you.”
How can I explain this quiescence? I cannot.
I
could report to you that people here are exhausted. I have readers in
Seattle who write to me daily saying they no longer read the news,
because they can’t take it anymore. It’s their way, I guess, of also
saying goodbye.
I
could tell you that some people here still regard Trump as a buffoonish
cartoon figure not to be taken seriously. He won’t really try to annex
Canada, they blithely say.